Prelude to Apokatastasis
[PLEASE NOTE: this entry needs editing]
The first signs of change occured when I attended a small group study entitled, Way of the Master, about 25 years ago (~1999) led by an on-fire evangelist, Eddy, at the church I was attending at the time (Christ's Church of the Valley, San Dimas, CA). It was a video course and was hosted by Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron. It emphasized the law and how failure to obey every point of God’s law rightly condemns the sinner to eternal conscious torment (ECT) in Hell. They contended that this was the most effective strategy for evangelism and challenged us to dwell upon the material, really meditate on the realities and horrors of so many people going to Hell in order to motivate us to evangelize. As a result of this exercise, I actually fell into a depression. After a while, I realized I just had to get on with life, so I shelved my concerns and tried to put it all out of my mind. I didn't doubt that forever Hell was true at this point, I just couldn’t function, so I tried not think about it. (ASIDE: Eddy has since completely abandoned the faith and is now just as zealous at promoting atheism as he was at evangelizing for the God of ECT 20 years ago. Perhaps the full weight of the doctrine finally hit him and, being unable to reconcile how a loving father could actively sustain his wayward children’s existence for the express purpose of ‘displaying His retributive justice’ upon them f-o-r-e-v-e-r… was too much for him so he abandoned the faith.)
Fast forward several years...
Now married with 2 kids, our family was attending a church in Yuba City, CA where, for the second time, I was exposed to The Way of the Master. I was actually excited about revisiting the material because I was interested in becoming more effective at evangelism, and I thought that maybe I would have a different reaction this time around.
However, it didn’t take long for me to start feeling the same way I did years before. God saw me where I was at, He heard my cries of desperation and confusion. Exactly at that same time, my brother "coincidentally" introduced me to a documentary on Netflix called Hellbound?, which questioned ECT. He still held to ECT at the time, he just thought it was provocative.
I then started having conversations about this with my wife, my dad, and my sister (all separately).
My wife unfortunately did not share my concerns regarding ECT and this actually became a significant challenge in our marriage.
As for my sister, after discussing the documentary with her over the phone and suggesting that she might want to read Rob Bell's, Love Wins (referenced in the documentary), abandoned ECT within just a few months for "apokatastasis" (a Greek word taken from Acts 3:21 which means the "restoration of all things;" it is the idea that God will not ultimately allow anyone to damn themselves for all eternity).
My dad, after we had a few conversations, also started doing his own study. Because of my wife's opposition to apokatastasis, my study was hindered so my dad outpaced me and abandoned ECT for apokatastasis to join my sister. As for me, I had a very strong suspicion that ECT was not true... believing instead that annihilationism (God's way of dealing with the unsaved is to snuff them out of existence) was more likely the case.
[Note: the following sentence was written around August, 2021... shortly thereafter I did in fact become convinced of CU]. After all these years, (because I’ve been hindered in my study) I still cannot say conclusively that I’ve adopted CU as true (although I strongly suspect that it is). All I’m comfortable saying at this point is that I do not hold to ECT.
I was also exposed to partial preterism in Dan Jensen’s class at Cornerstone where he introduced me to Hank Hanegraaff’s, Apocalypse Code. That started me down the path of completely abandoning dispensationalism. I now hold to partial preterism but I hold my beliefs loosely, always open to revision as I feel God leading me.
There are other issues as well… I’m leaning toward pacifism, being apolitical (only Jesus is King), elevating Jesus’ words and teachings above other (in my view) problematic biblical texts (especially in the OT such as stoning one’s child for being stubborn or the Israelites being commanded to not love, but obliterate their enemies while sparing and enslaving the virgin captives “for themselves”). Please understand, I’m not debating or trying to convince, I’m just sharing where I’m at.
I do continue to affirm the deity of Christ, the Trinity, the power of the Holy Spirit, the bodily resurrection of Jesus, and the necessity of allowing God to work in and through us to perform His good works to bring humanity closer and closer to God’s Kingdom on Earth. I believe that God will not merely save us from the world, but will actually save the world, this world, the whole world and that He has chosen to do that through His elect.
I believe that to neglect the gathering together of one another, to neglect corporate worship and prayer, and to neglect community and financial support are all acts of unhealthy disobedience. That is why, although I do not hold to a handful of the secondary doctrines that I used to, I am still active at my church and feel that it’s vital to do so. The presence of God resides among His people and I do not wish to be cut off from that.
I am persuaded that many people, like Eddy (who was unaware that there were other historical, orthodox, and biblically sound positions), end up abandoning the faith altogether when the gravity of ECT finally hits them, or when they are numbed over by the many failed expectations resulting from dispensationalism, or are disillusioned by the promises of politics or the warmongering practiced by those that say they follow the Prince of Peace.
What I desire is to have a willingness to think through the issues. I don’t want to cling to old wineskins and accept old teachings simply because our grandparents taught them to our parents and our parents to us. I want to know the teachings are true based on their own merit. I don’t want to be inculcated with a rigid set of doctrines or spoon fed. “No longer will one teach his neighbor or his brother saying: Know the Lord, for they will all know Me.” This is to say that the time has come where we no longer just take for granted what is doled out to us. We are to know the Lord directly and are to believe what we believe because it is convincing to us, full stop. Of course, we listen to those with opposing views to help us hone our beliefs. That is exactly what I am advocating for. But to sign onto to a set of beliefs due to outside pressure of any kind (i.e., it’s what we’ve always been taught, it’s what our group believes, etc.) is a betrayal of truth. We are obligated to do the Berean double check.
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